Sunday, January 27, 2013

Working Mom Blues

 I am debating changing the name of my blog. It seems as though it could be slightly dated. I quit my corporate job about seven years ago in the hopes of being an over achieving "stay at home" mom where I would be an expert in the field of "staying at home" to raise amazing children. I envisioned nothing but complete bliss along the way as I cooked meals from scratch, took my children to the library daily, and dried every tear as I hovered freakishly close over my children's lives.

I stayed home about two years then found myself back in the corporate world working part time over the course of the next 4 years. The declining economy suggested I head back to work full time if my children were ever going to get braces, a secondary education, or the ever popular overpriced health insurance. I've been back at work a little over a year and I'm finding the values that I tried so hard to instill upon my children are getting buried under the mess of a busy life as I struggle to pull it all together.

I realize I used to pride myself and my family on the amount of time we spent outdoors, the little almost non existent time playing video games or watching TV. I loved the amount of time we spent reading, cooking, exploring the area, or just playing with toys and finding how to be entertained. Now I find my kids want to do nothing other than play video games and be in front of a screen on the weekend (they are not allowed on weekdays unless of course I have to get a project done for work and need to buy some time- I know, great parenting, go ahead and say it).  Can we go back to where we once were? I crave the old days that seem so far gone. I keep telling my girls that I want to see them, talk to them, listen to them and that I miss them while I'm at work and traveling but I seem to have lost them to the screen. I know I own this mistake and it's going to be a long journey back, I just need to figure out how to recover this mess we are in.


Jayne Martin Dressing said...

Great post. I feel this way all the time. Even as I'm typing my kids are still in their pj's watching some dumb Disney show. I think part of what happens is that as the kids get older, it becomes harder to engage each one of them. When they are little, they all just go along with a plan to take a walk or go to the library or bake cookies. But as they get older, their interests are pulled in different directions. It becomes more of a challenge to even ralley the troops for a hike in the woods or even something fun like a trip to the zoo. I find myself with one kid, usually my youngest, who is always game. Don't beat yourself up. Your kids will remember all the interests you helped them develop and will have a love for these things themselves as they grow older.

Anonymous said...

It's obvious they need you and you made a huge difference in their lives. Please, try by all means to crunch numbers and sacrifice a few material things. Examples, differentiate needs from wants. I may want a new and large vehicle, but don't need one if I already have transportation. I don't need to keep up with the Jones's either. It can be done and you won't regret one moment. I have no memories of my working mom, except for her getting home from work with a cookie after hours of staring at the front door waiting. Sad but true. Luck!

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Unknown said...

Awwww....we are in the stage where we do get to play dress up, take bike rides in the neighborhood, go on any number of outings and have playdates. It makes me cringe to think that day will come where technology is raising my child.

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Anonymous said...

Hi Mom. It's your eldest daughter. Cool blog you have. This feels weirdly personal and yet I feel quite distanced from it. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I have to say I like your blog. Why'd you stop? I'm fourteen now and I think you raised me right. So far at least. We'll have to see after I get my first boyfriend (or girlfriend).

love you,


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Karenna said...

I enjoyed finding this, and also Eden's lovely comments. I can tell what a beautiful daughter you have raised, Jennifer. No surprises there! How wonderful that she discovered Stuntmom! How wonderful that we Stuntmoms got our children grown!! :-) Much love to all of you from Stuntmom's city of origin!! xoxo Karenna

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Best AC Repair Here said...

I admire how you left the corporate world to dedicate yourself to your children. Something I will definitively support. I quit my job way before I had kids.