Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
This New York Times article inspired me since it seems like we have fallen into the kiddie menu. This summer I'm hoping back onto the "kids eat what the adults eat, or they can just be hungry" mentality. Read the article, it's great to know restaurants are starting to realize we would eat out more often if the kids had options other than mac and cheese, grilled cheese and chicken chunks. I couldn't help but copy what one reader wrote in response to the article, since he does have a point. Most of what I ate growing up was total 70's crap-tastic food.
Oh come on! The author ate what her parents ate- that proves this young
generation is going to pot. What a lot of hooey. I suppose if I too grew up in the upper echelons or in NYC, we’d have eaten out too. But growing up in the 70s, with four kids and a station wagon, we didn’t even DO restaurants. And we ate crap food at home: hamburger stew, mac and cheese, meat and potatoes. Inexpensive and something both kids and adults would eat. Where do you think ‘comfort food’ came from?
And not surprisingly, the 70s children grew into
anorexic children of the late 70s and early 80s, and many are now fat adults
that eat frozen meals from the grocer.
My point? There is nothing inherently wrong with ‘today’s generation’ and just because you got to travel Europe and eat Julia Child food hardly means the current generation of kids is somehow uniquely impoverished because they can eat out and have chicken strips. With some many pressing issues of the day regarding children of the world: child labour and exploitation, poverty, AIDS, and starvation and the best you could come up with is a rant against chicken strips in NYC restaurants!?
posted by Adios Amigos
Monday, May 21, 2007
So my question is, "is it ethical to ask for a new cone"? Am I babying my kids too much that they won't even be able to hold down a job one day? Should she have to sit there while we all finish our icecream and reflect how things could so easily have gone differently had she been more careful?
Friday, May 18, 2007
If you're ever feeling low, see if these words are helpful:
I am what I am right now. Those around me are what they are right now. Discontent with what I am, or with others, does not change what is causing my discontent -- it only creates discord in me. Even feeling bad can be embraced -- it's just a feeling. Peace within me comes from creating resonance within me in response to everything that life presents to me. This includes my own thoughts. When all else fails, laughing at my flaws and weaknesses can lift the burden of the perceived importance of self.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I must say that tonight I am thinking, "thank goodness for the Internet." I both found some great support just by Googling "getting through divorce" and I'm able to air my thoughts, too. Today, a friend and I were wondering if someone had documented classic post-marital-breakup emotional stages, and sure enough, the first article that I pulled up did a great job of doing just that. A couple of excerpts:
The adjustment period after divorce trauma (whether you are the "leaver" or the "leavee") is between two and five years, depending somewhat on the amount of pre-grieving you've experienced. Some people begin the emotional journey when they realize the marriage is dead -- sometimes well before they mention the word "divorce" to their spouse.If you're in the early stages, you're probably wondering what to expect -- and how to accelerate (or even bypass) the painful stages to reach the place where you feel whole and happy again. Unfortunately, recovery from divorce is not an express elevator from the basement of grief to the penthouse of joy. It's more like a maze: you go forward a bit, become confused, find the way forward again, hit a wall, retrace your steps, find a new way forward, realize you took the wrong turn and back-track again. Like wandering through a hall of mirrors, you confront yourself -- or what looks like yourself -- around every corner.
The first year is characterized by numbness, denial, relief, acute periods of pain, and back to numbness again. This is the divorce roller coaster, which includes periods of euphoria ("how nice to be rid of that louse!") followed by deep lows ("oh my God: she's really gone!"). During the first year, you may sometimes feel like a robot going through the motions of living without really participating in your own life, or like an unwilling passenger on a wild roller coaster ride.
The whole article is at this link.
Another great article is on gratitude in divorce. Here is an excerpt:
During my marriage I learned and experienced at least 100 things that have contributed to my life. When I breathe them in and honor my life by honoring my experiences, I bask in the joy of emotional freedom. My list of the gifts of my marriage looks like this:
I have the child I always wanted.
I moved to beautiful La Jolla, California.
I get to be a parent to Beau.
My sister moved to La Jolla to be close to us.
I began working with Deepak Chopra.
I developed the Shadow Process.
My ex-husband paid off my school loans.
I was able to experience having a family of my own.
My parents moved to La Jolla to be near Arielle, Beau, and me.
I received enough money to stay home and write my first book.
I had the privilege of being the daughter-in-law of Bernice and Marty.
I've learned how to look at life through the eyes of another.
I learned that you don't have to go to Harvard to be brilliant.
I've learned how to share and include others in my life even if I disagree with them.
I've become more thoughtful in my words.
I received the inspiration for my second book.
I've learned to not verbalize every thought I might be having.
I've had the profound experience of seeing how others change as I change.
I learned that I could make it on my own with a child.
I'm learning how to be a good mother.
I've learned that co-parenting can be a joy.
I've learned that in conflict I need to keep the attention on myself.
I had the wedding I always dreamed of.
I've learned to ask for what I need.
How can I resent a man who has given me so many gifts?
Lastly, I ran across the following fantastic tip in another article. How ready I was to start making a new life out of new changes, but now I realize it is wise to:
Delay major changes
Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow or in a year from now. Fears will be resolved. Don't dismay if one day you feel confident and strong, the next ragged and worn out. Delay any major changes for six months. In a separation, when your self-esteem may be low or your anger may seek revenge, this especially means great caution with the opposite sex. Dr. Joy Browne best explains rebounding in "Dating for Dummies" where she advises waiting at least a year to date. I loved her line: "Hang out with friends, large groups, small countries." She's right. You can meet your social needs without risking heartache.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I thrive on the mess and disorder, but for those of you that don't....
SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE
DO YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF???
Does it take you a long time to find things?
Are your closets so full your clothes are wrinkled?
Do you miss important dates because you lost the invitation?
Are you usually late for appointments?
Call her- Edy Allen, she will change your life, that is, if you are looking for a change.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The girls and I have been able to take full advantage of these days by going on daily nature hikes. This is the reason I wanted to stay home. To teach my kids to love the outdoors. We start off the day with a quick read of the paper, by just me, interrupted frequently of course. Then we head outside. Now that I have a five year old who is strong enough to manage one of the dogs, the three of us have been hiking everyday, with the two dogs. One dog goes off leash, one on leash, held by my oldest daughter. I hold the hand of my soon to be three year old, and the baby is in the backpack. All is wonderful. We hike for a little over an hour each day, and suddenly there is the absence of all fights, and other things that can get us down over the course of the morning. Today we mixed things up a little, we went to story time at the arts and crafts library in Corryville, Wednesdays at 10:30am, and went hiking in the evening- all to end our day with a picnic dinner at the park with some friends and their dogs.