So as you know, I'm committed to my life of slobbyness, and today was my first test. A friend came to visit, and I knew she was coming, and I didn't clean. I knew Sunday night that she was going to be stopping by in the morning, so normally I would have busted my ass to get the house in order, especially since she doesn't know what a slob I really am. But instead, I went to the grocery store after the kids were in bed, then I wrote an article for Stuntmom, then I had a glass of wine, and then went to bed. I woke up in the morning of her arrival a little earlier than usual, and I didn't bother to pick up even a little. So the question is, did I make progress in accepting my messy life?
The answer is and was, no. And No again. I was actually very embarrassed over the pile of dog hair I had swept into a pile but didn't dust pan up. I was wishing terribly that I had at least picked up a few things that didn't bother me the night before, because in the daylight, they were a little shocking. So in retrospect, I should have held off on the Stuntmom article on the boat show, and spent the time doing a little cleaning. I'm not sure I will ever be able to embrace the mess, and certainly not the dirt. Oh well, a lesson learned.
Gotta go, I've got to clean this place a little. Just a little.
3 comments:
As the friend who came over, let me just say that I would much rather have visited a well-rested mom than one who felt she needed to stay up extra to clean for me. I was much more interested in your sweet, beautiful daughters and hanging out with you than I was in whether your house was clean or not. Hopefully you'll keep that in mind next time you come to visit me in my mess!
Stuntmom, I'm with anonymous on this one. I also think that what you have described is one of the most common traps we humans fall into -- finding something about ourselves, our actions, our homes, etc. that we don't like and then feeling bad about it, and preparing to be judged, when that thing comes into the public eye. I once read that there is no point in feeling bad about something because all it does is feel bad -- the feeling bad part really accomplishes nothing else. Yes, one can see an accomplishment in cleaning your house. But if you didn't/don't clean it, what's the point in feeling bad about it? And if the alternate path was to give yourself a little more enjoyment, then that's accomplishing something, too. I think that feeling good about hosting someone in a messy house is good practice for keeping a positive state of mind for other "messes" that might descend upon us -- gaining 20 pounds, having to have a tooth removed in preparation for oral surgery, losing all your hair, etc. What I find again and again is that other people really don't seem to hold whatever mess you've found yourself in against you in any way. And if they do, they've probably got issues with judging themselves. Some of the things that do attract us to people are energy, friendship, and a sense of ease with oneself and others.
And in writing this, I'm really writing a reminder to myself as much as I am offering ideas to you.
Just one other thought... Isn't it funny how the things that we beat ourselves up over are usually the ones that others reassure us about? And then the things that others criticize about us are usually the things that we defend in ourselves...
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