Yesterday was a replay of a few weeks before. I was tired, cranky, and on the brink of just yelling at my husband and the kids. Why?? I don't like this! Please understand, this is not like me. It's unusual. I'm generally known for my incredible patience. And it has nothing to do with my menstrual cycle! I know what you're probably thinking as you read this: Ms. Schedule is over the top, wound tight. About time it caught up with her. Didn't bake her bread on Tuesday, and is having trouble coping with the failure of it all. But no, it's not like that at all. The schedule acts as an outline for the week. We pick and choose what really happens; the schedule just gives us some focus. So yesterday, I was just in a really bad mood, feeling frustrated and frazzled. When asked why by my husband, I couldn't put my feelings into words. I had no idea why I felt this way. I kept telling myself, "you're so lucky. You have a beautiful, healthy family, and an amazing home. You have no right to be on such a tear." This did not help. Not one bit.
This past week, my life has been very relaxed. I shouldn't be full of anger. What's my problem? For a week and a half, the kids and I are dog and house-sitting right now 33 miles away, for my parents. The kids and I are staying in Bristol, and my husband is working and living at our house in Rockland. So, the only real schedule we have is breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's fun for a change. We drove up here today, for storytime at the library, and then, since we didn't bake any bread, walked to the bakery and bought a loaf. Stuntmom - it was a delicious cracked wheat loaf. You would have approved. My parents' house is relaxing - it's out in the country, and inside it's neat and tidy, everything has its place.
So, back to The Mood of yesterday. I was already grumpy, as I drove to Rockland. But I get to our Rockland house yesterday, right before lunch, and it's a mess. Frustration rears its ugly head. It hasn't been cleaned in a week and a half (we've been away since Thursday of last week) - and general disorder reigns. Toys are all over the parlor, dirty dishes are in the sink, dust bunnies are running rampant. It's not terrible, mind you, but it's pretty messy. It's not just my husband's mess - it's our mess, and houses just get dirty over the course of a week. Then I find out that tomorrow, some prospective clients are coming by, to meet with my husband about a house they want to build. So the house must be cleaned.
So, I rolled up my sleeves, and started the daunting task. Keep in mind, I came back to Rockland in order to attend my Fiber Arts get-together, not to clean my house. Now I found myself scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, taking care of laundry, and dusting. At 2 o'clock, I thought I'd better skip the FA gathering (it's from 2-4). I had too much work to do. But I was in such an incredibly foul mood, that I decided to go. I was just a bit worried for the women in the crafts group!
And guess what? I came back a changed woman. I sat and chatted with some really nice women for a couple of hours, and worked on one of my sewing projects. I'm still in a good mood, and I think it's simply because I was able to get out of the Mom Space for a few hours. Just a few hours a week, that's all I think I really need. It's so important to do this, and yet so easy to skip taking the time out. My anger has totally dissolved. I am once again the calm, happy person I usually am. I need to remember to take time out for me. It's for the good of the entire family. A happy mom makes for a happy family.