Monday, March 19, 2007

What are Your Addictions?

We all have them, don't we? A friend was mentioning that I might think she has an addiction to Yoga, which is a good thing, right? Some addictions are good, others keep people at a distance, so maybe that's not so good. But who am I to say, anyway?

So what am I addicted to? I think my lack of organization. It sounds wacky doesn't it? But I think it's true. I have a huge list of projects that need to get done, a messy house where little is ever put away properly, and need I mention that the proverbial cleaning lady needs to visit? So imagine a week that I stay up late drinking coffee after the noon cut off, and have the house in great shape. I attacked my list of projects, with the exception of a few major ones and suddenly there is a void in my life and I just don't know what to do with myself.

My sewing room is clean, should I start a new sewing project? The sculpture that a friend asked me to repair a year and a half ago is finished and delivered to her door. The bathrooms are cleaned and the floors are all swept. I have finished reading my books for this month's book clubs. So really, what else is there to do? I suddenly feel like something is missing in my life. It's a vacancy no matter how I look at it. Should we move again, have another baby? Of course not, although easy, those are not the solution. (I spent my college years moving every time I started to feel settled, so this has been going on for a very long time) I think I need to accept my addiction to disorder and move on. Maybe I need to start another to do list or maybe look around at other big projects that I need to complete, but ignore- like the wallpaper I started to strip. Or maybe I should just accept a quiet life, and sit drinking a cup of decaf tea and enjoy the peaceful moments where my mind isn't telling me to do something else. Ah, a dream world, but not impossible, right? Well, I've got to do Yoga before the babies wake up!

1 comment:

marshkn said...

It's interesting that you make a couple references to yoga because your topic makes me think of a concept that I've been learning about in yoga philosophy classes -- the Gunas (a Sanskrit term). The Gunas control your mind because they control everything that gives us experience. They are Rajas (activity), Tamas (inertia) and Sattva (balance). Apparently, even e=mc2 is a representation of the Gunas. They are all necessary but can get out of balance. A rajasic personality is continually on the go, while a tamasic personality tends to be lazy. So, maybe you're dealing with the Rajasic control on your mind rather than addiction.

I was thinking about addiction, too, and what makes something qualify as that. I think you can recognize a behavior as addictive if you do it continually despite the fact that it either harms, unbalances or embarasses. Does that seem like a reasonable assessment? And embarassment is just a construct of our minds. I think I called yoga an addiction because I was embarassed at being caught on my way to the studio AGAIN. What leads to embarassment is a whole other story. Isn't that funny, though? Maybe with a lot of behaviors, if you just take away the mental assessment, there's nothing the least bit wrong with them. If being disorganized doesn't harm or unbalance (think of how it was celebrated in that NYT article on messiness), then is there any reason to be more organized?