Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Follow Through With Your Plans!

Guest Editorial from Karen

If 99% of life is just showing up, then why do so many people cancel? I think that contagious illness or severe physical/mental discomfort are good reasons to cancel plans. (Mental discomfort is a tricky one because sometimes going through with plans can actually make you feel better, but I also want to recognize that a really bad mental state can be as bad as a really bad physical state). Beyond those, are there good reasons to cancel? Plans that have been made are an open door to the world beyond yourself and your own household. If you made the plans in the first place, why don't you trust the self that made them that the plans are worth your time? And let's not forget the other person/people involved in the plans. Now that I am living a divorced lifestyle, I am much more appreciative of plans. I make more plans than I used to and as such, I have more people cancel out of plans than I used to. Now, some readers might suggest that I should take this personally. If so, I disagree. I think that in this modern day culture that is increasing more supportive of our daily whims and "needs," we often put the plans we make on a second tier and what will make our lives easiest on a first tier. Why not just accept whatever is laid out before you (including plans you have made) as just as easy in the current moment?

My bookclub just finished a book called the "Book Thief." In it, there was a wonderful character named Hans Huberman. He was a solid individual who was always there for the people who needed him. That might mean staying up into the wee hours reading to a little girl and being bone tired the next day. Or painting someone's house for a glass of champagne. I was inspired by this character because he wasn't consciously selfless, but it was just a way of life for him. If someone had invited him to dinner, I just know he would be there.

Yes, I have canceled plans before. My intention is not to do so in the future. I think I do believe that 99% of life is just showing up.


StuntMom said...

What perfect timing for the article. I too was going to write an article about all of the people that cancel on us. I seem to think it hits the stay at home crowd more since they have so many reasons to stay home. "My kid has a runny nose" or "they have been acting us so much, we just can't leave the house" We get broken dates so often that I never let the kids know what we have planned for the day until we get a last minute confirmation. How stange, but if anything it motivates me to keep plans even when I'm not in the mood anymore, just to keep myself from being a cancel mom. Micahel always says I like to be invited just so I can turn down the plans and know I'm choosing to sit at home, but could be out having fun. But Karen you are so right, usually when you get to where you were originally going you are so happy to be out. So on that note, I will not be at bookclub this Thursday due to my husband having a work dinner. Let it be known, I schudule my life around bookclub, so it's a sincere flake. (I despised the book though, and really want to hear what everyone else thought about it, so please take notes)

marshkn said...

What do you mean you like to turn down plans and know you're choosing to stay at home, but could be out having fun?? That doesn't sound like you at all! You are the most enthusiastic receiver, accepter and follower-through on plans that I know.

StuntMom said...

Wow thanks. You are right, I almost NEVER cancel a plan but there was a day back before I was married that I felt I had to go out on Friday and Saturday nights. If I sat home on a weekend without plans (or plans to cancel or turn down), then I felt like I was missing out on something in life. I think Michael likes to remember those days and give me a hard time even after all these years.

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